Rough, Rough Writing

Class Editing Project

We are continuing to work on our "ruff, ruff" drafts of our dog stories. (Get it?)

Today, we decided to take on an editing challenge together.

Here is the original version of a dog story:

I am a dog.

I wanted a bone.

I went to a store.

I got a bone.

Here is the Bumblebee Class Editing version:

I am a hungry, frisky brownish Chihuahua with big ears. I have razor-sharp teeth as long as pencil stubs. My name is Ruffy and my hobby is Sumo dog wrestling. I am brave, because I fight bulldogs. I am smart because I can do addition, subtraction, division and multiplication.

I wanted a broccoli and bacon flavored bone. I haven't had money to buy food in a week. I wasted it all on a dog mansion for my hobo dog friends. One of those evil dogs with ripped pants blew up my huge house with a stove bomb while grilling bones. Now, I am homeless and hungry.

I went to a store to beg for food. It welcomed me by announcing, "YOU ARE THE MILLIONTH CUSTOMER!" My prize was a million dollars. The greedy hobo dogs tried to take the money from me. I used my Ninja moves and pencil sharp teeth to kick them in the air and defeat them.

I got 5, 000 bones for me and my friends who are not hobo dogs. I will open an all-you-can-eat doggie bone restaurant called "Doggies' Fat Free Bones". Come and visit! We will be the last bone house on the right.

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WOW! We have some pretty creative writers in this classroom! Bet you can't wait to see the final versions of our creative dog stories!

Don't forget: tomorrow is Half-Day! We are half way through the school year at noon. Bring something that shows half, and dress in a way that shows half.